We could be a sit-com

ME: D-d-d-danger walks behind you…there’s a stranger out to find you…
[9 hours later]
JEFF: Creepiest 2:30 am text ever.
>note: In my head it was a just a cheerful quote from
The Duck Tales theme song, but retrospectively….

ME + Sleep deprivation: It’s the needle that put the hay cart over.

CARISSA: The standing rules of “do what you feel” exclude murder, suicide, and incest.

ME: YouTube recommended a video of a malfunctioning Roomba for me. I have a problem.
JARED: Don’t leave me hanging, I wanna see that video too!

KENNY (about his overnight job): I was in a predicament. I like sunshine. I like to eat actual food. Sunshine is free, but food isn’t.

[During our two-man dance party]
ME: Keep it low, let it grow!
CARISSA: Up high, don’t be shy!

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