I naturally run at a higher frequency not unlike your average hummingbird. I embrace that about myself. During the past year I realized that “chill” is not all it’s cracked up to be and want to get the record straight on some things as I’m encountering some unavoidable situations where I’m trying to be casual and, inevitably, over-doing it.
No, I’m not talking about dating. Sometimes I read an email that I’ve written where I’m trying to sound breezy-and-not-pushy and it sounds like I’m stoned and drunk writing from a tepee in the woods on top of a knee-pillow…
There is a negative connotation around most Type-A descriptors–high-strung, tightly-wound, uptight, and other string-related words– where they’re also linked with having a bad temper. I don’t feel like this has to be the case and it isn’t the case for me. I respond to situations normally. If someone is irrationally throwing a fit in a retail store at the cashier, I’m rolling my eyes with the best of them. If I have to wait in a long line, I’m usually content quite content.
The only things that is different is the personal pressure I put on myself. I like to always wear a watch because I always want to know what time it is and likewise, be on time. When I get a project, I want it to complete it really well or I’ll feel guilty. When going somewhere, I tend to speed walk (which is actually not that effective since I have the stride of an six-year-old). And, in general, I talk in somehow both stilted and convulse sentences held together with awkwardness and incomprehensible metaphors and similes. That is just your normal old, Jacklynn old, stuff.
Maybe I’m just not using the right word, but all I know is that I’m not chill but that it’s a good thing. I need to be busy and get things accomplished. I like work just as much as I like to have fun, honestly. I go on unknown adventures, try new things, explore, and put my physical well-being in danger as much as anyone else. So can everyone just let me be high-strung and stop glamorizing the beach bums as zen masters? We need both.
Ok. There, I said it. Now can I just write emails the way I want to? Because that’s really why I wrote this post.
#culturalrevolution