5: Things I’m going to change

O-M-G. A Friday 5? On a Friday? About something of substance? I need to blog about this.

oh wait…

As you might have collected from previous posts, I am all about constantly improving oneself until you are who you want to be. And I’ve been pretty happy with who I am, but since moving to Denver and meeting some truly incredible people, I think it’s time for an update. AKA: Since friendship is no longer mandatory, I’m realizing I have some major, not-conducive-to-friend-making qualities.

 

 

 

01 | Be brave. I am proud to say I already try very hard at this, but I can do better. There is an adventurous person inside of me who wants to get out more. I will gladly repel down canyons, but put me in a room full of people and I cling to the walls.

02 | Take compliments. I doubt that I’ll ever really take a compliment gracefully, but I hope to stop rejecting compliments so vehemently that it makes the compliment-giver uncomfortable. I can just silently agree to disagree. I’ll stop trying to convince people that I am the worst person they’ll ever meet and they should have nothing to do with me.

03 | Have peers. When I was taking that elements quiz with The Matt’s & Crystal the other day, there was a question that went something like “Do you grudgingly admit that other people are just as good as you?” And I had to admit that I never do that. People are either better than me (a large portion of the population) or worse than me (a very small amount of people I meet). I suppose I have to realize that  it’s ok for me to exist in the same space as some of the amazing people I’ve met. That, no, they don’t want to spit into my eyes every time they seem me. And that, yes, perhaps they might sincerely like me and want to be my friend. My severe low self-esteem doesn’t make anyone happy.

04 | More hobbies, less lurking. I am a new media/internet junkie. Thus the blog(s). Thus immediately joining every social media application that Science Friday tells me about. My smart phone hasn’t helped the situation either. Instead of Facebooking, blog-reading, online shopping, and general virtual sluggishness, I’m going to play my ukulele, read, write, explore the wilderness, do some sort of physical activity (I was thinking yoga once it gets cold outside, thoughts?), and create art. It’s so strange that I will happily spend all of my waking time helping others–gladly, willingly, passionately—but if given free time to spend to myself, I am not productive at all. This needs to change.

05 | Dance. Ok, this is more of a metaphorical thing. Me being able to dance without feeling like the scum of the earth means I have accomplished the previous four tasks. I will be bold. I will allow people to say my wiggling is some how related to the beat of the music. I will dance with other people. And I will not be behind a computer screen. I always think, if my friends were here, I could “dance” with you, but I have to admit that I’m on my own now.

K. Here we go! I’m going home this weekend to gather Part II of  Jacklynn’s Crap. But starting next week: It’s on.

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