I feel like my head is congested with information, responsibilities, and deadlines. Paper topics, asterisk denoting important events, and the inability to say “no” when someone asks me a favor. Work, school, and social life.
Usually when I feel like I have too many thoughts in my head I write. Like with a pen and paper, wrist movements, and stream of consciousness. So today I got a out an inky blue pen (I use blue for notes to myself and black for things that other people tell me).
But I couldn’t even think. Imagine not being about to just have a random string of thoughts. I don’t know if that’s every happened before. I think it might be a bad sign.
What I’m thinking about:
- Honors thesis project. Writing it. Struggling with it. (Accidentally saving over it and having to re-write it!!!)
- Working on my new website. Due Thursday.
- Online class response. Due in 4 hours. (I’ve decided that I don’t like online classes. I need the classroom experience, teachers telling me what to know and think and reminding me about assignments. I like the mood, the context, and the feel of the classroom)
- This journal. And how much I want one. Right now.
- Playing the ukulele. Buying a new, better, solid-wood body ukulele with gear tuners. (Remember how I told you I like to buy things when I’m stressed?)
- Making/revising my map for the an art exhibition.
- Designing an essay book for the art exhibition.
- Going into work tomorrow.
- Wanting to watch Singing in the Rain but forbidding myself until I work on my thesis paper some more.
- Reading Chaucer. Likewise, wishing that I could understanding Middle English better.
- Falling asleep on my textbooks.
- Coffee.
- Exercising.
- Missing spring break.
- Wanting to go on a weekend trip to Jackson with Mary, Carissa, and “The Europeans” but knowing that I will probably not be able to.
- Applying for The Future.
- How I wish I had better handwriting.
- Graduating.
- Moving all my stuff.
- Needing to go the grocery store but avoiding it.